A Letter to My Dog Who Doesn’t Know I’m Not Coming Home

July 1, 2019

Dear Morena,

I’m sure you’re wondering where I’ve been for the past month. Maybe you don’t wonder at all. I’m not sure. I only occasionally think about you (if that makes us even.) I hope you’ve been well.

I’ll have you know, I haven’t given my love and affection to any other dogs. I’ve perhaps petted one or two on the streets, but otherwise, I have not replaced you or even thought to do so. I shall be pleased to hear that you have not replaced me as your owner and household companion.

An insider tells me that you sit on my bed and in my room looking out the window and wait for me to come home. I am sorry I didn’t tell you before I left, but I won’t be back—at least not for a while. Despite your intelligence, you are a dog and I am a human, so you were not nearly smart enough to understand when I told you previously. That’s okay, goofy bastard.

I digress. I hope you are not too saddened to hear the news. Perhaps I will return for Christmas. I will not bring you gifts because I am frugal and you are the least of my priorities. But I still love you.

Much love, Diego