King Arthur Joins The Police Force
among king arthur’s
weirdest recommendations
after we put him on
the seattle police foundation’s
board of directors:
once,
he spent an hour
admonishing the east precinct
for it’s lack of
“fortressification,”
(it was a few weeks after his
resurrection and appointment,
and all he had learned at
board meetings so far was
to add “ification” or “ism”
to the end of his words.)
when
the board had to decide
how they would handle
bad press around an alleged
police brutality case,
king arthur’s only question
was whether the officer
who commited the crime was
of Saxon origin,
nobody could answer,
so he proclaimed
him a traitor,
clinked and clanked
in his armor to the precinct
and killed him with a stone,
(the stone was later discovered
among the ruins at
Tintagel Castle)
after three years on the board
of directors—which arthur
termed a “roundtable” of
the “most honored”—
he was caught in a
chivalric episode with
the chief of police’s wife,
and he was forced to resign.
king arthur and the seattle
police chief’s wife birthed
a daughter.
legend has it
that she runs
a coffee shop.