Diego Segura

Daily Reflections

I wrote these reflections daily from May to August of 2018. I’ve compiled these all into one book and edited them for clarity. You can find To a Man Much Like Myself (Oct. 2018) at muchlikemyself.com.

On clean breaks, moving slowly, and circumstance

On clean breaks As you enter a new chapter of your life—which already sounds too dramatic for our taste—you will find that now is the end of many relationships, activities, and settings. Much of this, however, does not have to happen. It is not that change inherently has to come as time goes on. You could just as easily maintain the exact same relationships, do the same things, and hang out in the same places as you did before. You simply know that you won't do those things anymore because beginning a "new chapter" is a clean break. A single point in time in which you can mark off as being the end of this and the beginning of that. Make the choice to break with the past in a clean and swift manner, and reap the rewards of change and development that has long awaited you.

On moving slowly By moving slowly, you prevent yourself from reacting impulsively or being overcome with emotion. You allow yourself time to think about the next words that you plan on saying or the next action you plan on taking. Though speaking quickly can give the appearance of confidence and assuredness in speech, you should use it sparingly—it can just as easily humiliate you because you decided—impulsively—to say something unreasonable. Reinforce this with your physical action. Perhaps slow isn't the right word, but cautiously. Pick up your belongings with careful attention, and place them down the same way. Move about a room with precise intentions. Allow your eyes to be under control and carefully scan the room rather than dart back and forth to whatever draws your attention at the moment. All of this is to make you slow down and be intentional in all of your actions.

On circumstance Your decisions, once made, turn from choices to circumstance. Circumstances are uncontrollable and must be handled with great equanimity—they simply exist and appear to have existed forever. Your job in dealing with your circumstances is to deal with them. Think of your already-made decisions as circumstances rather than choices that fall upon you. At one point, they were, and you might have been able to make a better decision at that time. If you have no remedy, however, then there is no reason to become frustrated with the decision that you made. From poker you learned to have a short memory and developed the ability to quickly move on to assess the situation as it stands currently, not as it once stood. Apply this to all of life—especially when you are faced with new decisions. If you allow your previous failures to define you now—viewing them as choices rather than circumstance—you will act on tilt and make yet another bad decision.

Diego Segura