On appreciation and anger

On appreciation It doesn't take much to be an appreciative and caring person. That's not to say your goal is to put in the least amount of effort yet appear to be a good person. No, life isn't all about appearances. It's very simple to show love and appreciate another person. If someone's walking in behind you, hold a door—small action, but effective. Smile more. It's the little things. However, you can also do things that are more special to make people feel good. Shoot someone an email to let them know you've been thinking of them. Send a thank-you note. Give them a handwritten letter—something unusual that takes effort means much more than an automated message or a even a smile (though a smile is surely powerful). I want to see you go out of your way and do the things that nobody else wants to do or will put in the effort to do. This might also be showing appreciation to people who aren't as relevant in your life. You may have great words to say to your mother on mother's day or to a significant other on their birthday, but what about the friend you had in school who recently became a father? What about the young man who is about to leave for the military who you spoke to a handful of times in the last few years? These people aren't an active part of your life, but a small message and word of encouragement can go a long way. You might feel weird doing it, but it would mean the world to you if they did the same. You also shouldn't be disappointed if nobody else returns the favor or even cares, because that's not why you do it in the first place. That only validates the fact you're doing something others are hesitant to do, which makes your actions all the more important.

On anger You cannot anger yourself when you fail at something or don't live up to your own standards. For one, that's not going to get you any closer to success. You'll only become less focused and more spent on your emotions. Second, you're believing blatant lies when you do that. Your worth in life does not come from your ability to play chess or hit a cue ball correctly, as much as it may feel like it. Not to mention, the games and skills in front of you are not the most important thing in your life. You know you have other work and projects to be doing that must be taken care of. Your anger at these matters is trivial and should be avoided. Control it.

Diego Segura