On asking questions

The best communicators do not communicate to everyone else to prove their points. Instead, they question the opposing viewpoint and allow it to break down if it’s false.

An opposing argument might stand up to questioning and turn out to be true, and the best communicators are open to that result. Remember that negotiation is not about winning, but discovering what is true. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong at first, it matters if you’re right or wrong in the end. Chris Voss in Never Split The Difference* teaches about asking the right questions and using questions to mirror the other person in a conversation since it makes them more comfortable. Jesus did an excellent job of confronting tense situations with questions rather than declarations. Socrates developed an entire school of thought around asking questions. This is a form of communication you should master and pay more attention to because you see the impact of it all around you.

*See https://diegosegura.me/blog/negotiate for a blog post I wrote about the lessons I learned from this book.