Umbrella as Accidental Fashion Statement

June 26, 2019

I bought an umbrella today—it’s not raining. The other day it was, and I didn’t have one. That was a problem. So I walked to MUJI, bought an umbrella, and continued my day. Not one of the compact, foldable ones. A true, curvy-handled cane with a canopy. Umbrella in hand, I stopped by the grocery store before going home. It’s 80-something degrees, sunny, and hot outside, so it stands out. One guy asked if it was going to rain later, adding, Don’t scare me!” This umbrella on this day is not utilitarian in the slightest—it’s an accidental fashion statement.

The umbrella, I thought, could turn into a motif. I could always carry one around, no matter what. Just like how Karl Lagerfeld always wore sunglasses and fingerless gloves. Or how Steve Jobs wore jeans and a black turtleneck every day. Or how Flava Flav wore a timepiece on his neck. 

Or, I could take my umbrella home and leave it there until it’s necessary, and use it like any normal person would, i.e. not as a fashion statement. I’ll stick with that. (For now.)